Thursday, December 4, 2008

More Fuling Photos - Hong

I decided to post more photos of Hong and her family with Livie and I. These are just a sampling of the many photos I have (thanks to my dear friend with a quick eye and an awesome camera, Kim!). I have to smile every time I look at them. :0)


Moments after Hong stepped onto our bus: The first time Hong has seen Livie in 3 1/2 years.




Off the bus and filled with joy!



Two moms.




Hong's mom holding Livie.






Hong, Livie, Hong's Mom, Hong's Sister, Me & Hong's Other Sister




Catching up.









A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words!














Notice the guy looking at this watch in the background? He is the Director of BLAS, and was one of 'the faces' I saw through the peep hole of my hotel room door later that day...ick.



Pure Joy.




Our view from the bus as we headed back up the mountain to the New SWI.







At the New SWI, Livie received a Fuling Jade Pendant from Director Yang.


Warning: Transparent Dialog:
Our large group of Fulingers after having received their Fuling Jade Pendants. Notice the women standing behind the kids? These are several of the ayi's (nannys) who worked at the SWI and had strong connections to many of the children. This is one of my points/complaints/concerns: nannys are allowed the joy of seeing those children whom they cared for, but Foster Mothers are forbidden the same courtesy and privilege. Remember that Foster Parents care for their Foster Children 24/7. In the case of Livie, Livie lived with Hong, her husband and her son (who was only 10 when we adopted Livie in 2005) from the time she was just 5 months old, until we adopted her at 18 months of age. Livie slept in the family bed with Hong and her husband. Livie called them Mama and Baba.
I feel strongly that their relationship is worthy of respect, and I thank Hong for loving Livie so unconditionally, as this is what ultimately helped Livie to s-l-o-w-l-y allow us to love her, and for her to love us in return. I will add that our 'Gotcha' with Livie was horrible. Hong would not let her go, and our Gotcha basically mirrored some terrible custody scene. I truly believe that seeing Hong again helped us to ALL come full circle, and emerge with a POSITIVE adoption memory.
I was told that the Directors' concern was that Hong would ask us for money (side note: I do not actually believe that this was in deed the Directors' concern, but rather they did not like anyone doing anything 'outside' of what they had planned and could control, and lets face it, I am a mom with a mind of her own). I want to state right here and now that she asked for absolutely nothing. Wait...she did ask for something...she asked my permission to buy Livie a gift. I told her that seeing her was Livie's gift. Granted, there is always the possibility that I could be asked for money, and if this happens I will gently but firmly say no. That being said, while I appreciate the Directors' concerns (ok...actually I don't appreciate it), Livie is our daughter and Hong does not work for the SWI anymore. The truth is that we are free to keep in contact should we desire. This may not be 'liked' by 'the powers that be', but it is a fact nonetheless. Coming to my hotel room and telling my guest to leave is disrespectful to both Hong and myself. Next time I visit I will make it a point to visit Hong and her family far away from meddling eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~


Back at our Hotel after having left the New SWI.



Lei, Livie & Hong




Hong's Nephew, Livie & Hong

Hong's Father, Livie & Hong

Hong's Sister-in-law and Brother (facing Hong & Livie)

Livie, Hong, Me & Hong's Sister



Hong looking at the photo album I had sent her of Livie (which she had never received...that is, until I gave it to her!).
Mary



8 comments:

Candy said...

I've been waiting for your post. Again, I sit here with tears in my eyes. I'm so happy that Livie and you had this time with Hong. What a special time for all of you. I can't even imagine how you were feeling at that moment when you first saw her. Hopefully uour speaking up will change the way future tours transpire.

Angel said...

The look of joy on Hong's face is beautiful. I hope you were able to get information to stay in touch with them.

Tammie said...

Mary,

I've been waiting for you to be awake enough to post again. Glad to see you're finally awake. ;)

I think that by seeing Hong & her family, you have given Livvie the most wonderful of gifts. She looks so darn happy & at peace. As for Hong, she has been given the gift of a lifetime to know that Livvie is safe, loved & happy.

Your pics tell a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing all of this with us.

Naenay1012 said...

I think that you all being able to connect again is awesome. I hope that you are able to keep in contact with Hong.

zsjmom said...

I agree with the others. I hope you have a way to contact Hong. Watching your journey makes me long to take Julia on a heritage tour. Tamara -a mom from the Sept. - October 2004yahoo group

Vivian M said...

I hope you are able to find a way to keep in contact with Hong for Livie's sake. WHat a true blessing to have had this opportunity. I am still peeved at the insensitivity of the directors, ugh.

AZMom said...

Your daughter is blessed in so many ways. How I wish I could do the same thing for my Bug. Thank you for sharing this with me even if you don't know me. You are a light into our children's lives as well.

Carrie said...

I am glad you did what did-we commend you!!!!